Toddler History: Hitler and Potty Training

Oh, potty training. When to start? How to do it? What are the experts saying? What does it mean when my child tells me she wants to “see it,” and smell her poopy diaper before I throw it away? If you have a toddler aged 18 − 24 months, you’re probably wondering how to begin potty training. And let me tell you, techniques vary widely.

For example, I once met an all-organic and slow-talking massage therapist from Connecticut who claimed his 5-month old was starting to train. He also claimed they didn’t believe in using diapers at all. I asked him how she was able to communicate to him that she needed the toilet and he said he used elimination communication.

And I thought dog poop on the streets of Manhattan was bad...

I’m not one to judge, but I bet their house didn’t smell so good.  And while I know this is possible, with cultures throughout history using similar techniques where babies don’t wear diapers in the American sense (China for instance, see picture); for the most part, moms have been using diapers made from linen, wool, straw, or any absorbant material for hundreds of years, and consequently have had to potty-train.

So what’s the best way to do it? Speed training like Three Day Potty Training.com? One mom I know had amazing success training her 20-month old with this technique, another friend calls it a “complete nightmare” with a zero success rate. Or maybe this way? Fuggedaboutit! So what if your kid is turning 5 next week, wearing size 11 diapers, and on his way to kindergarten. He’ll just crap his pants at school and then peer pressure and relentless teasing can do the job for you. As I said LOTS of options.

If you’re a Freud fan, he determined that we all go through an anal stage where we derive much pleasure from our anus and pooping. Some of us, as toddlers, experienced pleasure holding our poops in until mommy demanded we perform on the toilet (anal-retentive), while some of us found pleasure in showing mommy our poop wherever it may have landed (anal-expulsive).

If your meddling parents get in the way of either of these fascinations too much with harsh training, abuse and shame, it can cause an anal-retentive personality characterized by obsessiveness, tidy-ness, phobias about germs and frustration that can turn into hostility. Take Hitler for instance. His mother was a serious clean freak and most historians believe was a severe and abusive dictator-like potty trainer. She most likely beat him when he pooped on the floor, as was the norm for the Victorian parenting styles of the time. Parents were even encouraged to use soap suppositories to make their babies poop on a strict schedule. Scary shit, huh?

Conversely, if your parents are too lenient and you are permitted to poop freely and how you want for too long, according to Freud, you could develop an anal-expulsive personality where you grow up to be messy, overly generous, but also destructive and defiant, among other traits. (This explains a lot of people I know, namely, my husband.)

If you don’t want the panic attack of screwing up your kid because you feigned disgust when she took a dump during bath time, there is also the common-sense way. Potty-training will happen when the nerve connections between your child’s bladder, sphincter and brain are fully developed, usually around 2 − 2 1/2 years old; but many children develop these nerves earlier, so it doesn’t hurt to try when they are 12-months old either.

While Freud might be right about the anal stage of defecating enjoyment, it could just be that your child loves pooping on the potty because he’s experiencing a really cool new thing that his body can do. Just like when they discovered their feet for the first time.