Japanese pinball machine my dad bought us for Christmas one year. It has an ashtray.
Now that my childhood home has become “Grandma and Grandpa’s house,” I get a little confused every time my daughter says this phrase, which she has been doing a lot since we arrived at my parents’ house this week for the holidays. My thoughts always return to MY grandparents’ house and memories of looking at naked tribal people in dusty issues of National Geographic from the 1920s and ’30s.
Also in my Grandpa’s basement was a long-abandoned bar that I’m sure saw some fun Mad Men-esque neighborhood parties. During long, boring visits where there was no TV and no Atari, my brother and I used to spin on the barstools, play “banker” with an old cash register and pretend to make drinks with some empty whiskey bottles and a cloudy martini shaker. I guess this type of child play and the National Geographics explains a lot about my love for cocktails and naked people.
While pondering this thought and another on how to get Grandpa to babysit for just one Goddamn hour so I can get a Christmas pedicure for once, I realized something. Josie was going to start finding weird treasures from my childhood in my parents’ house to play with, the toys of my Christmas past…
Aaaa!
Why not start with the creepy doll? I hate this doll. I don’t know how old it is, or who’s it was originally, but my daughter loves it. It’s always lurking somewhere in my parent’s house and she always finds it. I don’t know if I’m more scared of the Chucky-ness of the doll or of what I’m sure is a toxic BPA-plastic doll body that is poisoning my daughter every time she touches it.
Smartypants McSmarty
Remember encyclopedias? This was my Dad’s present to to us in 1982. Again, I was drawn to the anatomy section and would try to learn all the bones of the human body. I also remember asking my dad questions, and he’d reply, “I don’t know, Kathie! Look it up in the encyclopedia for Christ’s sake, that’s why we bought them!”
Is Christmas ever complete without a little Garfield and Jon? Odie? Anyone? Man, I could read about a sarcastic, narcissistic, and sadistic cat eating lasagna for hours when I was 11. And Jon could never get laid! It was soooooo hilarious!
These are just cool
The wooden guys to the right, are stackable man-blocks from the 1940s. They were my dad’s and we loved playing with these guys. I’m really happy we still have five of them left for Josie to play with. As you know, I hate BPA plastic and these are WOODEN, just like Plan Toys, before there was Plan Toys, so therefore safe, and you know all the moms will approve and you won’t be judged if your child chews on one. Unless that paint has lead in it. (Christ, here comes the panic attack…)
Awww, Fisher Price people. Don’t have much to say about them, except that they are cute, and bring back cute memories—like when I would throw them at my little brother for touching my stuff.
Speaking of my brother, he received a robotic rhinoceros one year for Christmas. See below:
Please note the backdrop. This picture was taken in front of a wall in my parents’ “Rec” room. It’s a forest scene wallpaper picture that covers the entire wall. It’s been up on that wall since 1976 and made the perfect backdrop for my T-rex smack down. It also served as a great backdrop for some pretty raucous high school parties that may or may not have involved someone drowning my brother’s pet iguana in beer.
And with that I bid you adieu until next time. Merry Christmas!
First, it is a triceratops, not a rhino. Second, where did that awesome T-Rex come from?